So two weeks ago, I had found out that my throat problems where caused by polyps growing on my vocal chords. I then had an appointment to see the doctor again two weeks later. And that was yesterday.

I ended up being a little late to my rendez-vous, but Shizuko and I eventually made it to the hospital. After the doctor took pictures of my throat, it was clear that my condition wasn't getting any better. In fact, it got considerably worse. The polyps had grown out.

I took another appointment with the doctor for in one month. At that time, if it has not gotten better,  I will have to start consider having the surgery here in Japan. According to the doctors, it is a quite frequent operation; many singers receive it during their career. I have never had a surgery in my life, and so this is quite frightening. If they ever make one mistake, my voice might not come back to what is was before.

I will keep you all informed of the results next month.

Now that school is over, I do actually have a break! The judo club is also off for a bit so I can now take time to breathe, think, and yep, you guessed it, plan. Even though it's summer, I want to take advantage of this time to centre myself, to take time to think, and prepare myself for the next wave. So what are my plans for the summer?

First let's talk about what I want to accomplish.

 - I really REALLY need to clean my room. Since I am not even sure that I can stay here in the Kaikan after September, I might as well prepare myself for the worst scenario. On top of that, I found my mind going a little crazy last semester, due to the status of my room. It took me more time to find things and in the end caused me more stress.

 - I would like to make some music. I haven't really talked about my music here yet, but I'm still doing as much as I can to continue making music during my spare time... This summer, I want to make a couple more tracks and a few more mixes. I don't really have time to do so otherwise.

 - I want to go to the beach! And I already made plans to go!

 - I want to keep working out. I have a training camp with the team during the third week of August, so I want to be at my best for that.

 - I want to eat well. I want to gorge myself with fruits since I haven't really done so since I've been here. I also want to find easy recipes that are full of vegetables, high protein, and so-so carbs. That way I'll be ready to go for the next term.

 - I want to keep my studies going. Japanese (language) is now part of me, but I still need to keep at it, especially while I'm here.

 - Lastly, I want to have some fun. I think I've had a lot of fun already since the summer started, which is great.

Now a few events that are going to happen this summer include going to Disney Sea with my girlfriend (August 9^th), the training camp with the team (August 17^th to 22^nd), and climbing Mount. Fuji, most likely at the end of the summer.

Now I have one last goal. I want to write a lot of blogs, so as much as I can, I will try to write one blog a day (or week) for most of the summer. The topics might get a little wild, but that's just more fun isn't it?

Also, I should probably say that most of those with whom I have studied with for one year now will be heading back to their own country throughout the summer. Miguel will be leaving soon, Carlos already left. Slowly but surely, the Kaikan is becoming more and more empty every day. Quite sad to think that I will most likely never see any of them again. But who knows.

(Note to self: I have to keep in mind that I need to start looking into resuming my courses at the University of Winnipeg in January.)

So at the beginning of this semester, I caught a cold and it's been on and off ever since, but my voice just doesn't seem to come back. Up to this point, I've downed over 250 pills, been to 3 different hospitals 8 times, and reduced my talking enormously. This has really taken a hard hit on me because I'm someone who enjoys talking to everyone and making them smile. That's also one of my methods of learning.

Now, another problem has emerged. The next speech contest is coming up, and if my voice is not strong by that time, I won't be able to perform well.

I'm really trying not to talk, but it's almost impossible. I'm going to have to start really ignoring some people in order to not talk. Not a fun experience, but I guess I'm supposed to learn something from this.

So since mid-April, it has been getting very warm here in Japan, reaching up to 30 degrees celcius, which has made quite a change in my wardrobe, but also in class.

But despite this hot weather, I have caught a cold since the beginning of class and up to today, my throat still hurts. I've been to the doctor, twice now, and I've been taking loads of medicine but it doesn't seem to get much better.

I also went to go see a dermatologist because I've been getting dark spots on my face. He also gave me medicine, and a few recommendations.

I'm not going to say I am thankful for this, but I'm kind of glad I had the chance to do this. You see, going to the hospital is something we take for granted back at home. But this time, I had to go to a Japanese hospital, alone, and figure everything on my own. I had to fill out papers with characters that I didn't know yet. I had to listen carefully to what the doctor was telling me to make sure I answered correctly.

If I could have avoided the whole thing, I would have, but on the positive side, it gave me an experience while testing, once again, my Japanese.

On January 5^th, toward the end of the first judo practice of the year, I was fighting a heavier and stronger fighter from the club when something unexpected happened. I was getting slammed all across the mat, but I didn't really care because I was learning from him and it was good practice. Suddenly, I caught his foot with a foot sweep of my own and almost pulled a throw out of it. A little bit more confident, I got up and faced my opponent. I posted out my right hand grip to stop his high grip, but he managed to bend me over. Just then, he backed up a little, and I knew he was going to go in for a throw, and so I prepared to stop it. Because of that, I ended up being really far from him when he threw, and I blocked the throw (left uchi-mata),  landing on my left knee. That in itself would have been fine, except what the fighters in Tokai do is they explode even more at that moment. As he pulled my upper body across, I had no time to change my leg's position and was forced into a overly extended position. I felt a little rip in my hip and an acute pain in my knee. I yelled out in pain. At first, my partner didn't realize that I was hurting, thinking I just yelled out in defeat. But after a while he started asking me what was wrong.

The time froze for a few moments. I curled up in a shrimp position, my whole body shivering, fearing the worst. I couldn't think, I didn't know what to do. Suddenly I heard him ask me what was wrong. Obviously I was hurt. Soon, others came to surround me. Then people picked me up and carried me off the mats. I was placed on a stretcher, and given ice. My opponent just asked me what had happened, and soon left after to go back to practice.

I really hated myself in that moment. Why didn't I just take the fall? I knew this one wasn't as simple as the previous injury. Yasuhiro Yamashita sensei came by and saw me in pain and asked me what was wrong. I explained what had happened, and he awkwardly touched my injured area, then walked away. One of the trainers was nice enough to show me a few exercises on how to help my leg heal once it would be strong enough to move, but who knew when that would be.

I lost a lot of hope that day. I didn't understand why it had happened. I've been really trying my best to follow the practices and even though I get slammed all day, I push myself to stay aggressive.

I called my friend Chipa to help me walk back to the dorm because I knew I wouldn't be able to alone. Once we made it back, I set more ice onto my leg. I put ice at least 6 times that day. I called my sister and told her what had happened. She gave me a few more tips on what to do and not to do.

I went to bed completely devastated, my leg raised onto my pillow.

The next day, I limped around to get to classes. A lot of people asked me what was wrong, and I can't blame them: my walk was ridiculous. My leg was in a lot of pain. One of my friends, Valentina, noticed this and begged me to go to the hospital and even offered to go with me. So after school, she helped me limp over to the bus station, onto the bus, off the bus, and into a clinic near the station, where she had went when she had broken her knee cap a few months ago.

After waiting a few minutes and filling out the necessary papers, we limped over to see the doctor. He could see that I was in quite a lot of pain. After a few tests, his verdict was a 2^nd degree tear in the MCL. He then recommended that I use a supporter. I tried it, but it didn't seem to give me any protection at all. His next recommendation was a cast. I had never had a cast and so I was a little hesitant. I called my sister to ask her opinion but it was around 1 A.M. in Canada, therefore she was sleeping. After a few minutes of deep thinking, I made a decision.

It was my first time seeing how they put a cast on. One thing I have to say about the doctors here is that they are... different than in Canada. There were like four of them around me, two holding my leg and moving it too quickly to my liking. I was soo scared someone would trip on it or drop it or something. They placed the tissue over my leg, and the doctor molded it to my leg. I had to wait a bit there, my leg on a stool for the whole thing to dry.

Valentina was there next to me, and I was grateful for her presence. But I could not help but let out a few tears. I would have to wear this thing for two weeks, and in total, my full recovery would take up to three months...

After paying the bills and grabbing the crutches, I limped out of there. It was really hard to use the crutches. I looked up the proper way later on Youtube just to make sure.


January 15^th: It's now been a week and two days since I got injured. Last Tuesday, January 13^th, I went back to the doctors and asked them to remove the cast. When my sister had found out about it, she was a little skeptical, and told me it would be best for me to use my leg. Therefore I used my leg in the dorm at first, and by two days later, I was no longer using the crutches. The cast was putting a LOT of pressure to different areas of my leg, and I actually had to take pain killers, which I never do. But I knew the sooner I started using my leg, the sooner I would heal.

The doctor used a tool that looks like a cutter, but only melts, and cut through the cast. Once the cast off, my leg was soo weak, it scared me. It was very itchy, and as I tried to bend it, it shaked uncontrollably. I even started to regret my decision. After tapping my leg, I was out of there. I called Chipa again to help me walk in order to go find the Judo Club's hospital, as my father recommended I go there. I forgot where I had went last time, and therefore we walked around a lot before I called Mrs. Mitsumoto to help me find where it is. It took us another 20 minutes to get there.

Once there, I consulted with doctor Miyazaki, and he opted for a smaller brace. He gave me a few tips and off we were. I was grateful for Chipa to be there because even with the brace, for the rest of that day, my leg felt soo weak.

Today (January 15^th): My leg is getting stronger and stronger. I can now actually walk down and up the stairs. My strut is becoming closer and closer to normal, yet I still get some jolts of pain when making a false step. Yesterday, I went to the dojo to say hi, and start my rehabilitation. I walked back in forth with my brace at first, then without, to get my leg used to walking again. After that, I spent half an hour just slowly bending and unbending my leg. It hurt terribly, and it would tremble soo much. After that, I ended the session with chin-ups and pushups. After eating, I put ice on it to let it cool. Today already I see that yesterday's efforts paid off. As I said, I can now walk down the stairs, which is quite the challenge since it forces you to bend your leg to a specific extent.

Hope is there, yet I know it will take time, therefore I'm not rushing it. I just don't see any reason not to smile. After all, I can still study and talk with friends so no point wasting this time complaining!

Note: My family has been giving me soo much support it's crazy. My "aunt" came over all the way from Tokyo to visit me for like only 10 minutes since she was worried. Also a lot of friends have been very supportive, and I want to say thank you!

About a month and a half ago, our teacher handed out papers to those who wanted to participate in the speech contest. Now, since my sister had participated in this contest during her stay in Japan, the teachers didn't really give me a choice. Haha. In order to compete in the final competition, we had to present the first two minutes of our speech first to a few students and teachers. They would then pick the top 10 best who would then be picked to perform in front of everyone.

After writing my speech in English, I had my friend Maho Sagawa and my father translate it into Japanese for me, and I began to memorize. The day of the elimination, I spent 2 hours practicing and I had everything memorized. But as I noticed during my Japanese speech I performed back in Canada, I apparently get REALLY nervous while performing a speech in front of a crowd. Even though I have everything memorized, I seem to still forget as I am performing. And this time was no exception. I didn't think I did very well, and I was surprised to hear that I was picked to go through to the finals.

Even though my dad had worked very hard at translating my speech, apparently it wasn't the best way to present my topic, so after having memorized half of it, my teacher decided to rewrite pretty much the whole thing. Therefore, one week before the contest, I started to rememorize my five minute speech. Now keep in mind I was still going to class, still had tests, homework, and other studies to keep up with. I also had judo practices to attend and other life necessities to perform.

Now knowing about my nerves problem, I prepared myself this time in order not to forget in the moment. I had memorized most of it three days before the event. I practiced in front of my friends many times, my Japanese friends helped me with the intonation, I practiced in front of my class, people I barely know, and my family. We had a rehearsal the day before and I practiced with formal clothes on, knowing that I would be wearing them during my performance, I took pictures from the stage to help me visualize later. I even practiced with my friend by having her read the first three words of any sentence, which I then I had to complete. So, I knew my speech pretty well.

The day of, my teacher and my classmates wished me good luck. I left class early, wearing my suit and tie, and arrived there early, which allowed me to walk on stage one more time before the performance. After that, I went outside to practice some more. A lot of people complimented me on my suit, and one of my friends even told me I looked awesome, and that made my day.

Next, the time to perform. I was number 6; therefore I got to see others perform before me. All the participants were nervous, and you could feel the tension in the air. Soon, I was called up, I walked up the stairs, took a deep breath, smiled, and off I went. I'll let you see for yourself how it went.

Nonetheless, I received some money to buy my textbooks next semester as did everyone, but not only that, I also received a special frame, although I'm not quite sure why. Most likely because of the topic I chose for my speech.

Soon it was over, my stress relieved, and I was on my way back to the dorm. I then hurried as much as I could and made it back for the last hour of practice.

All in all, the experience was... beneficial. I actually learned a lot of grammar and vocabulary thanks to the help of everyone. I am kind of disappointed with my personal performance, but, I can say that I gave it my best.